Translations done badly . . .

We all know this one! I’m sure that everyone has at one time in their lives seen a very bad translation of something that couldn’t be simpler to translate and yet it is turned into the most ridiculous of sentences. I remember being in Mauritania, buying Christmas gifts when I came across a cream that assured me that it removed horniness, all in all probably not what you want from a cream. There are thousands of examples of amusing signs, posters, notices, etc that have all been translated in absurd ways. All you need to do is go to Google images and type in bad translations. As translations they are obviously worth nothing but as fodder for a really good giggle I would suggest throwing caution to the wind and just letting rip. Translation is a tricky subject and can often go wrong, as I have already insinuated. Here are a few examples of the interesting tools available for a translator, and I use interesting in the broadest sense of the word.
People will often use instant translators that you can find on a multitude of websites. I myself have used them if I am feeling particularly lazy although every time I get much the same outcome as previous experiences. Unless you have the most basic of sentences with no idiomatic expressions, no complex sentence structures and no complicated verb forms then the computer will generate a coherent translation of your work. However, life is not usually this kind and to be perfectly honest if you have been given a translation that is that simple then you could probably just have done it yourself. When you do get the more common complex translations the temptation to cheat is always there. I will describe to you now the feeling of using the instant translator. Usually there are one or two phrases that you just can’t quite get to sound English/French enough so you take a shifty look around you to make sure no one is looking ( not that it would make any difference if anyone was) and go on the hunt for, most likely, Google translate. Once you arrive at this site and choose your languages, you boldly type the sentences into the box and hold your breath while you wait for the translation to appear. This is always a tense moment, for though you know that it will spew out the most ludicrous of sentences you can’t stop the little bubble of hope that is floating somewhere within your being. You stare at the screen willing it to be a perfect translation, you see the computer loading your, hopefully, perfect translation. The excitement builds and you know that you have gone too far and that there is now no way to turn back. Suddenly it appears and it is usually the biggest load of bollocks you have seen, so back you go to the dictionary. If you have never experienced this before I would suggest having a go, it can be fairly fun.

to be continued . . .