I have only just discovered that doctors had a secret language which is used to describe patients and not in a favorable way. At first I was fairly shocked having been a patient several times in my life but then I realized that this is commonplace in many fields of work.
I will now provide a list of some of the acronyms that are used to describe the patients that walk through the doors of a hospital:
If you go into a hospital in Norfolk with a bizarre ailment then the doctors may describe you as NFN which is translated as Normal for Norfolk. If you don’t know where/what Norfolk is then it is a town in England which unfortunately has been associated with incestuous behavior, this is not the opinion of the blog writer or the organisation!!
Other acronyms include FLK – funny looking kid, GROLIES – Guardian reader of low intelligence in ethnic skirt, TTFO – told to go away (only slightly ruder), LOBNH – lights on but nobody home, DBI – dirt bag index and PFO – patient falling over (when drunk). Complimentary eh? I feel I must mention that it is not every doctor in England that use this language and it is supposedly dying out as doctors are showing more respect for patients. i would suggest the best thing to do is, if you get hurt make sure you change into formal wear and/or smart clothing before going to hospital, it should only take you a couple of minutes.
I end part 1 with my favourite expression from the doctor’s dictionary and that is “pumpkin positive” which is: when a doctor shines a light into a patient’s mouth, their entire head lights up as their brain is so small. What a gem!!
Part 2 coming soon . . .
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Another one I've heard is "BBB", which is supposed to mean "buggered beyond belief"– i.e. for use when a patient is either incredibly ill or incredibly badly injured. I've always suspected, though, that most if not all of these are urban legends, as it's only ever my non-doctor friends who talk about them!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Norfolk is not a town – it's a whole county...
Thanks, I haven't heard that one! I agree that it is probably an urban legend but these things are so hard to gage as if they are terms used by doctors I doubt that they will admit to it.
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